| In 5 days, |
[01 Feb 2006|09:37pm] |
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mood |
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 shocked |
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music |
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Who You'd Be Today--Kenny Chesney |
] |
it will have been a month since she died. In 12 days, it will have been a month since we left her on that hill. I'm not going to lie, I still think about her, and alot more than I think about the rest of them. Why is that?--I'm honestly looking for responses hereee
********************************
Sunny days seem to hurt the most,
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughing in the rain,
I still can't believe you're gone.
It aint fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the Hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place...
Sometimes, I wonder, who you'd be today.
Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder what would you name your babies...
Somedays the sky is so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you
I know, it might sound crazy
It aint fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the Hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place...
Sometimes, I wonder, who you'd be today.
Today, today, today...today, today, today...
Sunny days seem to hurt the most,
I wear the pain like a heavy coat,
The only thing that gives me hope is I know,
I'll see you again someday
Someday, someday...
********************************
"You are mine. I am yours. Of this, we are certain. You are lodged in my heart. The small key is lost, and you must stay there forever" ~Frau Eva
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| :-) |
[30 Nov 2005|10:06am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Evanescence--My Immortal |
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| <3. Whee |
[07 Sep 2005|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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What You Own--Rent |
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I have alot of work to do.
Just a note--pray for Michael Ann<3. She is a girl on my hall who has kidney stones...and pray for a girl on Sarah's hall. Long story, but I'm told she needs prayers.
"I dont own emotion, I rent"
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[01 Aug 2005|07:37pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Dresden Dolls--Bad Habit |
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I miss it so much:-(
but I really am glad to be home...
bah. im such a nerd, why cant i make sense of it?
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| woo. |
[26 Jul 2005|11:44pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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wicked--dancing through life. |
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dance night, drama night, talent night, and best of left.
whee.
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| Whee. |
[19 Jul 2005|11:06pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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mmmm Jeanieee:-) |
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spent the day in Hosch. tired
loving Georgia
missing home...family and boyfriend <3. he's my fav
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| Correction on last entry. |
[14 Jul 2005|12:49pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Bad Religion--Shattered Faith |
] |
Everyone thinks that when I said Star Wars is ridiculous, I meant the concept of the stories. Wrong.
We are doing a field show in band based off the main theme, Darth Vader's theme, and Cantina Band. That is what is ridiculous, not the actual movies/books.
Thanks<3.
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| ADVENTURE |
[13 Jul 2005|11:17pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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System of a Down--Violent Pornography |
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Band=adventure.
Star Wars=ridiculous.
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| <3. whee |
[09 Jul 2005|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Bad Religion--A World Without Melody |
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i just wanted to let everyone know that my surgery went fine.
little to no complications.
whee.
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| Hahahaha Sarah Bob Sarah |
[07 Jul 2005|06:21pm] |
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music |
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Dresden Dolls--Coin Operated Boy |
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has merchandise. Ask me for the address!
Hmm, I really have nothing to write. I'm scared about my surgery tomorrow. Thats pretty much about it, but I will get to have a wonderful dinner tomorrow night with my lovely:-). Wanna see Dark Water after if Im up for it?
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| hmm |
[05 Jul 2005|10:54am] |
I must say that I am happy that the parades are over, that my friends are back from Ireland, and that I had a wonderful night at fireworks last night with Adam, Mike, Christina, Mary Liz, Clark, Christian, and Lauren. Eeep, so wonderful to see them.
Sunburnt. Feel like pooooooo
Tired. Going back to sleep
Survived the 3rd/4th of July thoughhh. Teehee, August 6th babyyyyyyyyy:-*
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| Whee! |
[03 Jul 2005|05:26pm] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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music |
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Sum 41--Still Waiting |
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Its actually less than 15 miles. But now...
no more Havre de Grace
Yay for Catonsville tomorrow. HOLLA for the hometown hahaha
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| loooooovely. |
[03 Jul 2005|12:19am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Bad Religion--Shattered Faith |
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weekend so far has been quite lovely.
Now, tomorrow starts the hell. Marching 15 miles in 2 days. Joy.
I hope you had a good birthday baby:-). <3, youre my favorite.
I love his taste in music by the way. After I give these two CDs back, I'm borrowing your other Bad Religion CDs. I don't care what you say.
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| Clark Miller Quote Time! |
[29 Jun 2005|11:28pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Wicked--Defying Gravity |
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ClarkBMiller: my car is almost dead
ClarkBMiller: there is 0 tread left on my front left tire
ClarkBMiller: and i can see wire coming out of it
heathbar8360: LOL
heathbar8360: clark
heathbar8360: you need to get that replaced.
ClarkBMiller: yeah... i'm doin it friday
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| teehee<3. |
[23 Jun 2005|10:22pm] |
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mood |
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satisfied |
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music |
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none |
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I have added both Liz Brendel and Sarah Bob Sarah as interests.
<3
ohh yeah. Dinner, fantastic. Sarah has a winner for a girlfriend:-). Don't let me forget I owe you guys for ice cream. Cannot wait to see the two of you again!
Ohh, I love Georgia. There really is just that feeling that I love about being here. I have no idea why I was really upset about coming here initially. Gainesville is wonderful. *sigh*
squee.
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| Whee! |
[23 Jun 2005|02:54pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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...none...:-) |
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updating from Gainesville, Georgia, home of Brenau University.
I am having dinner with Sarah Bob Sarah and Meghan Beshara tonight. What are you doing?
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| Wow... |
[20 Jun 2005|01:02am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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Friends Theme Song |
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It is so true that some people never change.
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| Rawr. |
[15 Jun 2005|11:27pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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Maybe he'll notice her now--Mindy McCready |
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Nostalgia has once again reared it's ugly head within my life, partially because I let it back in and partially because it always comes back to haunt me one way or the other. I keep thinking that one of these days, things will be back to the way they were. I keep pretending that the rest of the group that this entry is aimed at will notice how much it hurts me that we aren't friends anymore. The guilt is still there, for what was said and done to each other...whether it was to that person's face or most of the time with us, behind our back.
It's sad. I really want them to see this, but they never will since I don't even talk to anyone that they talk to anymore. I want them to know how I feel. I wanna know how they feel.
I miss Chris. I miss Leo. I miss Joe. I miss the way their ties never matched their shirts. I miss the way Chris would defend how he would fidget on stage as part of his character. I miss the way they all made it their job to give blood at the Keough blood drives. I miss the way that Chris drove like a bat out of hell, same with Leo, unless there was a girl in the car. I miss the stoner imitation of Lusby. I miss the fevered patriotism where it was enough to make an April Fools joke that you all were going to become Marines and go to the Island instead of college which was enough to get at least 100 girls angry at you three. I miss the love of mullets and top ramen. I miss RED GUARD. I miss the way your faces looked when you would pretend to be offended. I miss how you would always smoke cigars before the show, despite how I always told you to quit). I miss headsets with Joe and Leo, enough to get Maureen to kill us, to have her threaten to "demote" us. I miss getting married back stage. I miss the booty call where you would always come up behind me to get ass but could never do it because I was "one of the guys". I miss the nickname "Ghetto Booty". I miss prom. I miss Christmas Dance with Joe when we sat on Mr. Fritz's lap and Joe said, "is that a candy cane or are you just that happy to see me". I miss THE KURSCH. I miss the obsession with 69 and Vanilla Ice. I miss Ludacris and Nelly in the parking lot when we would peel out. I miss Adidas days at the Mount. I miss birthday celebrations with Chris. I miss the four of us having matching scapulars and head scarves to pretend they were turbans. I miss how Joe would piss off the orchestra by singing 20 decibels too soft and 10 octaves too low all while trying to hit on Kelly and not make it too sexual. I miss the Amazing Grace Quintet with Theresa. I miss the Scottish Virgin Mary. I miss beating each other with ceiling tiles. I miss our defense of NUGGETING as a sport. I miss dinner with the Kursch family. I miss that crazy dog Feta. I miss Joe's allergy attacks at Chris' house at 4AM. I miss cow tipping in the boonies. I miss Arundel Mills plaguing. I miss crying on Joe's shoulder at Eric's viewing and vice versa. I miss CHINA jokes. I miss having my boobs gafftaped backstage because of the white stripe over them and how I had help from all of them. I miss gaffing Leo's shoes. I miss "It's all about the bondage" Hot Topic Apparel. I miss RAVENS fans, do or die. I miss painting your chests or dressing you up for games at CG. I miss PURPLE DEATH. I miss tailgating at St. Joe. I miss Panty Hose Hell, SCRUMPTIOUS DELICIOUSNESS TWICE IN ONE DAY. I miss PILLOWS that I made for Chris' royal ass, Leo's 5 o'clock shadow, and Joe's "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is" shirt.
That is all. It just hurts. I need a Burn Book like from Mean Girls, but instead of Bad things, things I miss.
This is what happens when you combine a Ukranian(me), a Pollack(Leo), a Mick(Chris), and a Spic(Joe). *sigh*. You get the best friendship ever...the Catonsville-Arbutus-Westminster-Glen Burnie Alliance if you will.
Their pictures collect dust on my desk.
"Maybe he'll notice her now, maybe he'll open his eyes. Sometimes it takes somebody leaving for a man to realize...now that she's gone, maybe he'll notice her now"
Ohh, I need comments...anything at all. Just tell me if Im crazy.
"you have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got and remember what you had, always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret, people change, things go wrong, just remember...life goes on"
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early_rain's journal
discontent
relieved